I have always been a Christian. At different points in my life it has been more or less central to my sense of purpose and identity, but it has always been there. Although there are things about Christianity that I struggle with, there are also many things that resonate strongly with me. Overall, I've found it a relatively satisfying groundwork in my journey through life.
In addition to being a Christian, I am also a statistician. I work with research scientists and I spend a lot of time helping people interpret and present things objectively and accurately. I firmly believe in the idea of randomness, and the implication that "coincidences" happen with predictable frequency. I also know that humans tend to find an interpretation for everything, even chance events, and that we prefer interpretations that support what we already believe. As part of a statistics training course I developed, I've presented the misleading human thinking patterns from Thomas Kida's book Don't Believe Everything You Think: Six Basic Mistakes We Make In Thinking (Number one: we prefer stories to statistics!). This is part of my case for the necessity of statistics in keeping us from making wrong conclusions.
Lately, when I'm thinking and talking about my faith, I hear my own voice in the back of my mind telling me that I'm not being objective. That many of the ways people interpret God acting in their lives are bunk. That I'm only a Christian because I grew up in a Christian country in a family of Western European descent. That I'm just believing everything I think.
So I'm starting a new phase of my journey. I'm going to let myself consider the possibility that nothing I believe is true. I'll consider that God may not even exist. I'll contemplate other religions and try to give them a fair shot. I'll consider psychology, biology, and neuroscience and what they tell us about who we are. I'll read books, talk to people, try stuff out, and think about my life experience. I'll search for truth and the meaning of life, and not be afraid of where it takes me. I'll admit that I hope I'll end up back at Jesus in the end, but not if it's just because that's what makes me comfortable.
I'm hoping some other people will participate, too. I'd love to hear from people with many different points of view -- anyone who is being honest with themselves about what they think is true.
Let the journey begin.
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